Trace Cyrus - Metro Station
- One word: Neighhh. This “man” seems to have the genes of a horse with that long face, and flowing mane of his that could battle the chunks of hair I pulled out of the drain last night in terms of tameness.
- Wait… so how old is this fucker again? Oh that’s right, 20. And yet, for some reason, he has already pretty much covered his body in the tackiest tattoos we’ve ever seen. Lulz, what’s that on your knuckles you fugly horse? Stay gold? Classy and original. I see how it is.
- While we’re on the topic of body modification, Jesus Mary mother of Christ, what in hell is on his face? Maybe instead of putting holes in it, he should invest in a paper bag to put over his head so we no longer have to stare at his pathetic excuse for a face.
- He is the half brother to Miley Cyrus. This automatically puts him in the lower range of life.
- He tries to rock his skinny leg jeans with his scarily thin legs but in reality he just looks like a freak. Doesn’t have much of a bulge either, which means he either a) tucks that shit or b) has a small penis. So much for having a horse dick. What a let down.
- His body is just so skinny and frail looking. He has the body of an extremely flat chested woman. Or he is Skeletor.
- He dated Hanna Meth and is there invalid.
- Please don’t even get us started on his “music”.
- Ride on sweet pony. Ride on.
..I JUST DIED. OKAY?
